Film Crit Hulk Smash: HULK SMASHES THE PUNY PARADIGMS OF FILM CRITICISM WITH HULK-SIZED SEMIOTICAL ESSAYS ON STORYTELLING, CINEMATIC PRINCIPLES, AND MEDIA THEORY! HULK EVEN MAKE PRACTICAL HOW-TO GUIDES! See More...

WHY HULK WROTE A BOOK ON SCREENWRITING

A book that you can buy...right now! And take a look at Edgar Wright's intro.

WHY HULK WROTE A BOOK ON SCREENWRITING

SO BACK IN MARCH HULK ANNOUNCED THAT HULK WAS WRITING A NEW E-BOOK OF THE POPULAR "SCREENWRITING 101" COLUMN AND THAT IT WOULD BE AVAILABLE SOON...

THAT WAS A MISCALCULATION!

IT TURNS OUT THERE'S A MILLION THINGS TO DO ON THE BACK-END IF YOU WANT TO (PROPERLY) PUBLISH AN E-BOOK AND CLEAR ALL STUFF THAT NEEDS TO BE CLEARED, ETC. ESPECIALLY WITH AN ENDEAVOR AS WEIRD AS THIS. GAH. WHO KNEW, RIGHT? (HINT: PROBABLY EVERYONE ELSE). ANYWHO, WE HAVE ALL BEEN WORKING TIRELESSLY DURING OUR FEW AVAILABLE HOURS THESE LAST 7 MONTHS AND NOW HULK IS BEYOND PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE E-BOOK WILL BE AVAILABLE...

RIGHT NOW.

WHAAAAAAAA?

YUP! THE BOOK IS DONE. IT IS AVAILABLE. THE BOOK HAS BEEN EDITED BY OUR OWN MEREDITH BORDERS, COPY EDITED BY LINDSAY MAHER, FORMATTED FOR PUBLICATION BY ROGER TINCH, PUBLICIZED BY DACYL ARMENDARIZ OF FONS PR AND THE COVER (PICTURED ABOVE) WAS BEAUTIFULLY ILLUSTRATED BY YANNICK BELZIL. THE BOOK IS BEING RELEASED AS THE FIRST ENTRY OF THE NEW BADASS DIGEST PUBLISHING. AND THERE IS EVEN A FUN AND LOVELY INTRODUCTION, GRACIOUSLY WRITTEN BY NONE OTHER THAN MR. EDGAR WRIGHT!!! (AND MAY HULK SAY IT WAS BEYOND AWESOME OF HIM TO DO SO). HOORAY FOR ALL THOSE THINGS!

STILL, HULK IMAGINES YOU MAY HAVE SOME SPECIFIC OR GENERAL QUESTIONS, SO HERE ARE HULK'S ANSWERS TO THE 8 MOST IMPORTANT ONES:

1. "Hi Hulk! You seem well-meaning and stuff, but there's no way I'm reading a book in all-caps. kthanksbye"

WHILE HULK BELIEVES IN THIS WEIRD THING WITH EVERY FIBER OF HULK'S BEING, HULK'S NOT GOING TO GO SO FAR AS TO MAKE SOMEONE PAY FOR HULK'S CHOICE. SO HULK IS PLEASED TO ANNOUNCE THAT THE BOOK AUTOMATICALLY COMES IN BOTH HULK AND BRUCE BANNER-IZED VERSIONS! (THAT MEANS NO-CAPS). HOORAY! IT'S YOUR CHOICE! OR YOU CAN GO BACK AND FORTH! OR WHATEVER!

2. "Uh, why read a stupid book when I already read your stupid column?"

PLEASE KNOW THAT THIS BOOK IS NOT SOME FLIMSY REPUBLISHING OF HULK'S PREVIOUS COLUMN. IT'S COMPLETELY RE-WRITTEN, REVISED AND RE-GUSSIED. IT HAS EVEN TRIPLED IN SIZE TO BECOME A 400 PAGE BEHEMOTH THAT PROPERLY REFLECTS THE SIZE AND SCOPE OF THE SUBJECT ITSELF. SURE, YOU'LL PROBABLY RECOGNIZE SOME OF THE STRUCTURE AND POINTS FROM THAT ORIGINAL COLUMN, BUT HULK GUARANTEES YOU THAT THERE IS A REMARKABLE DIFFERENCE IN CLARITY, COHESION AND THE WAY IT REALLY TRIES TO CONNECT THE DOTS.

3. "So, uh, how much for this 400 page behemoth and where can I find it??"

IT'S GOING TO COST $4.95.

HULK WOULD LOVE IF IT COST NOTHING, BUT GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF WORK THAT WENT IN FROM LOTS OF OTHER PEOPLE IT IS AN ABSOLUTE NECESSITY. AND HULK FIGURES THAT LESS THAN 5 BUCKS FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS IS PROBABLY FAIR AND NOT TOO CUMBERSOME? THAT'S LESS THAN A CENT A PAGE! HOPEFULLY, THIS IS OKAY.

THE BOOK WILL BE AVAILABLE ON AMAZON FOR IPAD, KINDLE, AND, UH.... OTHER STUFF? iBOOK VERSION IS COMING IN THE NEXT WEEK OR SO.

4. "Hi! I'm an film type journalist person and would like to write about this book OR interview you OR have you on my podcast. How do we make this happen?"

PLEASE EMAIL HULK AT FILMCRITHULK@GMAIL.COM AND HULK WOULD BE HAPPY TO SEND YOU A COPY AND TALK ABOUT IT!

5. "Wait, why the hell does the world need another screenwriting book?"

BECAUSE HULK THINKS MOST SCREENWRITING BOOKS ARE PRETTY MUCH TERRIBLE.

OKAY, THIS IS JUST AN OPINION. AND YEAH, SOME ENTRIES ARE CERTAINLY LESS OFFENSIVE, BUT A LOT OF THEM STRIKE HULK AS DOWNRIGHT PREDATORY, PARTICULARLY IN TERMS OF HOW THEY ENGAGE THE CULTURE AT LARGE. THEY'RE PRACTICALLY DRIPPING WITH FALSE PROMISES OF HOLLYWOOD GLORY AND THE "GET RICH QUICK!" THINKING ON STORY THAT KIND OF DRIVES HULK NUTS. AND WHILE HULK IS FAR MORE HONEST RIGHT UP FRONT ABOUT THE DIFFICULT BUSINESS END OF INDUSTRY, IT'S IMPORTANT TO UNDERSTAND THAT THIS BOOK ISN'T REALLY ABOUT HOLLYWOOD MACHINATIONS OR NAVIGATING YOUR CAREER. IT'S ABOUT THE CURRENT PROBLEMS WITH OUR COLLECTIVE STORY APPROACH AND THE NECESSARY SOLUTIONS WHICH CAN HOPEFULLY FIX IT.

BECAUSE IF THERE'S ANY BOTHERSOME COMMONALITY TO THESE EXISTING BOOKS, IT IS THAT THEY ALL SEEM TO BE TRYING TO FORCE SIMILAR OVER-RIDING STRUCTURES ONTO YOUR STORY AND CREATIVE INTENT. IT'S LIKE THEY ALL SEEM TO OVER-FOCUS ON SIMPLE CHARTS AND DIAGRAMS, WHICH MIGHT SEEM CLEAR AND CONCISE, BUT END UP BEING COMPLETELY REDUCTIVE (THIS LITTLE PLUG 'N' PLAY CHART TAKES THE PROVERBIAL CAKE) AND DO NOTHING BUT MAKE YOUR WORK FEEL MORE "SAMEY," CARDBOARD CUT-OUTS OF OUR BASIC TROPES WITHOUT A HINT OF HOW TO MAKE THOSE TROPES FEEL INVISIBLE. WORSE, THESE CHARTS JUST END UP BEING EVIDENCE OF THE HORRIFIC WAY THAT MODERN STORYTELLERS CONSTANTLY SEEM TO MISTAKE FORM FOR FUNCTION. AND HULK PROMISES YOU THAT FUNCTION IS EVERYTHING TO THE SUCCESS OR FAILURE OF YOUR STORY. IT'S REALLY ABOUT TAKING YOUR INSTINCTS AND THEN UNDERSTANDING WHY YOU ARE MAKING CERTAIN STORYTELLING CHOICES. IT'S UNDERSTANDING HOW THOSE CHOICES WILL THEN AFFECT AN AUDIENCE AND HOW THAT IS THE KEY TO UNDERSTANDING WHAT YOU ARE ACTUALLY ACCOMPLISHING. IT'S WHAT LENDS SUBSTANCE TO STYLE AND CONNECTS YOU TO THE HUMAN BEINGS THAT ARE WATCHING THE MOVIE / READING YOUR SCRIPT. AND THE SIMPLE PAINT-BY-NUMBERS SOLUTIONS THAT MOST BOOKS TRY TO GIVE YOU? IT'S AMAZING HOW OFTEN THEY WILL BETRAY THAT NEED FOR FUNCTION.

BUT LOGICALLY SPEAKING, HULK KNOWS THERE'S NOTHING HULK CAN SAY TO CONVINCE YOU THAT HULK'S BOOK IS ANY DIFFERENT FROM THE PREDATORY NATURE OF THESE OTHER OFFERINGS. AFTER ALL, IT'S JUST ANOTHER SCREENWRITING BOOK AND IT'S AIMED AT THAT SAME AUDIENCE. SO IN THE END THIS COULD ALL BE FOR NAUGHT. BUT HULK IS AT LEAST AWARE OF THIS DYNAMIC AND ALL HULK CAN DO IS PROMISE YOU THAT THIS IS BORN FROM THE EARNEST DESIRE TO GIVE YOU AN HONEST ALTERNATIVE.

6. "Okay, fine it's different, but what actually makes your book different?"

FIRST OFF, DO NOT LET THE TITLE "SCREENWRITING 101" LIMIT YOU: THE BOOK IS REALLY ABOUT STORYTELLING AT LARGE AND THE LESSONS ARE JUST AS VIABLE TO TELEVISION, PLAYS, NOVELS OR ANY MEDIUM. BUT QUITE HONESTLY, IT'S JUST THAT THERE ARE CERTAIN ECONOMIC REQUIREMENTS IN PUBLISHING THAT REQUIRE YOU CALL SOMETHING LIKE THIS A "SCREENWRITING GUIDE" AND SO THAT'S JUST HOW IT IS. IT'S NOT MISLEADING THOUGH, AS SCREENWRITING AND FILM ARE UNDOUBTEDLY THE MAIN FOCUS OF THE BOOK, BUT HULK PROMISES THAT IT WILL TRANSLATE TO ALL THE OTHER MEDIA AS IT IS MORE ABOUT THE FULL PURPOSE AND PHILOSOPHICAL EXECUTION OF STORYTELLING.

AND THAT MEANS DIVING RIGHT INTO THE WHY. THE WHAT. THE HOW. AND IT ACTUALLY SPENDS TIME ON THE INFINITE COMPLEXITIES AND COUNTER-EXAMPLES THAT BREAK THE RULES TO GREAT PURPOSE (AND NOT-SO-COINCIDENTALLY MAKE UP SOME OF OUR BEST MOVIES). THE FIRST HALF OF THE BOOK IS REALLY MORE "THE PHILOSOPHY OF SCREENWRITING" AND IT TAKES TIME TO MEDITATE ON THE PURPOSE OF OUR VARIOUS STORY MECHANISMS AND PERSPECTIVES. IT THEN SEEKS TO BREAK DOWN THE ACCEPTED STANDARDS OF 3 ACT STRUCTURE AND HERO JOURNEY IN ORDER TO FIND MODELS THAT BETTER FIT PROPULSION AND ECONOMY. IT SHIES AWAY FROM OUR OBSESSION WITH STORY LOGIC AND INSTEAD FOCUSES VERY MUCH ON THE TENETS OF DRAMA OR THE POWERFUL NATURE OF SCENE-TO-SCENE TRANSITIONS. IT STRIVES TO BREAK AWAY FROM THE FORM = FUNCTION THINKING THAT MAKES US THINK "TROPES = STRUCTURE," WHEN REALLY THE MECHANISMS THAT MOVE A STORY ALONG HAVE SO MUCH MORE TO DO WITH THE DEVELOPMENT OF EMOTION. IT'S ABOUT HOW WE MOVE FROM SCENE TO SCENE WITH PURPOSE. HOW WE TUCK AND WEAVE AND CARRY PEOPLE ALONG ON OUR JOURNEY WITH FOCUS. BUT MOST OF ALL IT IS ABOUT THE VERY NATURE OF CHARACTER AND HOW IT MANIFESTS IN CONFLICT. THE WAY OUR CHARACTERS' WANTS WILL CLASH WITH THEIR NEEDS AND GO ON TO FEED OUR STORY AT ITS CORE. AND HOPEFULLY, THE BOOK ACTUALLY ALLOWS FOR THE IMPOSSIBLE ARRAY OF INFLUENCE AND INSPIRATION YOU MAY HAVE IN YOUR OWN LIFE. FOR THE NUMBER ONE COMPLAINT THAT HULK GETS FROM WRITERS (PROFESSIONAL AND NON-PROFESSIONAL ALIKE) IS THAT MOST SCREENWRITING BOOKS FEEL LIKE THEY BOX YOU IN AS MUCH AS THEY PROVIDE YOU SOLUTIONS. THUS THE COMPLEX GOAL OF THIS BOOK IS TO GIVE YOU A SOBERING, YET COMPLETELY FREEING SENSATION WITH WHICH TO APPROACH YOUR OWN WORK.

THIS ALL COMES WITH THE TACIT ADMISSION THAT THIS BOOK IS... WELL... MEDITATIVE. WHICH IS PERHAPS JUST A BETTER WAY OF SAYING THAT IT'S OFTEN TANGENTIAL (AND POSSIBLY EVEN DISCURSIVE). YES, SOMETIMES IT WILL FOCUS FOR PAGES AND PAGES ABOUT A POSSIBLE COUNTER-EXAMPLE OR THE PHILOSOPHY OF A CHOICE, BUT HULK HONESTLY BELIEVES THAT IS WHAT THE SUBJECT REQUIRES. OR IN THE VERY LEAST, IT IS THE MOST HONEST APPROACH. THE NOTION OF "EASE" IS THE ENEMY. BREAKING STORIES CAN TAKE MONTHS FOR SOME OF THE BEST WRITERS ON THE PLANET AND EVEN THEY WILL MISSTEP. THUS WRITING INHERENTLY NEEDS TO TALK ABOUT CONTRADICTION BECAUSE THE DISCIPLINE ITSELF PRACTICALLY LIVES AND THRIVES IN CONTRADICTION. BUT HOPEFULLY THESE CONTRADICTIONS AND EVERYTHING ELSE IN THIS BOOK ARE FRAMED AGAINST THE LARGER BACKDROP OF HOW MOVIES WORK. ESPECIALLY THE WILD AND RAMBUNCTIOUS MOVIES THAT REALLY MEAN SOMETHING TO US. WE HAVE TO STOP BOXING STORY INTO A TIGHT "ONE SIZE FITS ALL" PHILOSOPHY, AND INSTEAD EXAMINE THE WAY OUR MOVIES USE SPECIFIC DEVICES TO FEEL NEW AND COMPELLING AND GIVE YOU A MACRO, BIRD'S-EYE VIEW OF THE CRAFT AT HAND.

7. "Hulk, you understand that we have no idea what makes you qualified to write a book on this, right?"

YES. AND THIS IS TRICKY SO HULK IS GOING TO DO HULK'S BEST HERE.

THE FIRST THING TO KNOW IS THAT HULK UNDERSTANDS THAT TRYING TO BECOME SOME AUTHORITY ON WRITING IS AN INSANELY PRETENTIOUS THING TO DO. EMOTIONALLY-SPEAKING, MOST WRITERS FEEL LIKE FRAUDS ANYWAY. HECK, CHARLIE KAUFMAN'S PRODUCED SOME OF THE BEST SCREENPLAYS WE'VE EVER SEEN AND HULK GUARANTEES YOU HE FEELS LIKE A FRAUD (OR IN THE VERY LEAST, NOT AN AUTHORITY). SO PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT IT IS NOT HULK'S INTENTION IN THE SLIGHTEST. NOR IS THIS PART OF SOME WEIRD QUEST TO CONJURE VALIDITY OR SELF-PURPOSE OR ANY OF THE LIKE. IT IS JUST BORN FROM THE DESIRE TO HELP.

AND HONESTLY? HULK ARGUES THIS WHOLE QUALIFICATION BUSINESS DOESN'T ACTUALLY MATTER AS MUCH AS WE THINK IT DOES, ANYWAY. WELL, IT CERTAINLY MATTERS, BUT YOU MAY HAVE NOTICED THAT THE CURRENTLY EXISTING BEST BOOKS ON WRITING AREN'T EXACTLY WRITTEN BY PEOPLE WHO ARE KINGS OF THE INDUSTRY OR THEIR RESPECTIVE FIELDS, BUT BY PEOPLE WHO ARE JUST REALLY GOOD AT EXPLAINING A PROCESS. AND HULK SUSPECTS IT'S BECAUSE SOME PEOPLE JUST SEEM TO BE BORN WITH THAT GENE OR BRED TO THINK LIKE THAT; THE COMPULSION THAT BOTH WANTS AND LIKES TO UNDERSTAND THINGS AND THEN TALK ABOUT IT WITH OTHERS. SOME PEOPLE CALL THAT "THE TEACHING GENE," BUT THAT IMPLIES SOMETHING FAR MORE DIDACTIC THAN INTENDED HERE. HULK THINKS IT'S JUST HOW SOME PEOPLE COMMUNICATE. SOME SCREENWRITERS WILL HAPPILY TALK ABOUT THEIR CRAFT AND TRY TO ARTICULATE THEIR PROCESS SO THEY BETTER UNDERSTAND IT. AND SOME PREFER TO KEEP IT MORE INSTINCTUAL AND PRIVATE. AND THAT'S TOTALLY COOL. NEITHER IS INHERENTLY BETTER OR WORSE, IT'S JUST THE DYNAMIC. THEY'RE BOTH PART OF THE PUBLIC CONCEPTION. SO REALLY THIS IS JUST AN ACKNOWLEDGMENT THAT AT THE HEART OF ANY SCREENWRITING ADVICE IS THE WILL TO REACH OUT. TO HELP. TO COMMUNICATE. TO DISCUSS... AND WHILE THE PATH TO HELL MAY BE PAVED WITH GOOD INTENTIONS, HULK SWEARS THAT'S ALL THIS IS. AN ATTEMPT TO COMMUNICATE.

BESIDES, QUALIFICATIONS CAN BE A STRANGELY UGLY BUSINESS. HULK COULD GET INTO ALL THE SCREENWRITING, PRODUCING, CONSULTING GIGS, ETC. OR WE CAN LIST THE NEAT PEOPLE HULK'S HAD THE INCREDIBLE FORTUNE TO WORK WITH. WE CAN CONSPIRE OR WONDER OR DEBATE OR WORRY OVER THESE DETAILS. AND WHILE HULK COULD TRY AND EXPLAIN THIS OH-SO-WEIRD UNIQUE EXPERIENCE IN A WAY THAT WOULD ALL MAKE SENSE... PLEASE ACCEPT THAT HULK CAN'T. IT'S THE UNFORTUNATE NATURE OF THIS PARTICULAR BEAST AND WOULD PUT TOO MANY LIVELIHOODS IN JEOPARDY. AND HULK KNOWS THAT STATEMENT JUST MAKES THINGS MORE CONFUSING AND MAY EVEN BE A DEAL-BREAKER FOR SOME OF YOU, BUT THAT'S MORE THAN FINE TOO. HULK ACCEPTS THAT. HULK CAN ONLY ASK YOU TO GO OFF THE TRUST THAT HAS BEEN ESTABLISHED HERE. SO LET'S GET BEYOND THE SILLY LOGISTICS AND TALK ABOUT WHAT ACTUALLY MATTERS.

THE REAL ADVANTAGE TO WHAT HULK IS ATTEMPTING HERE IS THAT HULK FINDS MOST SCREENWRITING BOOKS TO BE BASED ON A SINGULAR PERSPECTIVE, TOO COLORED BY THE SOLE EXPERIENCE AND INDIVIDUAL PROCESS OF THE SCREENWRITER AT HAND. THIS CAN BE GREAT IN A BOOK LIKE KIESLOWSKI ON KIESLOWSKI, WHERE THE CONVERSATION IS CONSTRUCTED AROUND THAT FILTER OF INDIVIDUAL EXPERIENCE. BUT IT GETS MORE PROBLEMATIC WHEN A BOOK GETS MORE ANALYTICAL / INSTRUCTIONAL. TO PUT SIMPLY, ONE OF THE PROBLEMS WITH SAVE THE CAT IS THAT IT REALLY IS JUST TEACHING YOU HOW TO WRITE STOP OR MY MOM WITH SHOOT. THIS MAY SEEM LIKE HULK'S TAKING A SHOT (WHICH IS MORE EVIDENCE OF THE UGLINESS OF QUALIFICATION), BUT HULK'S POINT IS THAT AN IDEAL SCREENWRITING BOOK SHOULDN'T REALLY BE FROM THE "SINGULAR" VIEW ANYWAY...

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY "SCREENWRITING 101" IS AN ATTEMPT AT AN AMALGAMATION.

IT IS AN AMALGAMATION WITH INPUT OF AN IMPOSSIBLE ARMY OF TALENTED WRITERS, CREATORS, AND STORYTELLERS THAT HULK HAS (QUITE LUCKILY) GOTTEN TO BE A PART OF. THERE IS NOTHING SINGULAR ABOUT THE PERSPECTIVE IN THIS BOOK (TO TAKE INDIVIDUAL CREDIT FOR THE IDEAS PRESENTED WITHIN WOULD BE NOTHING SHORT OF COMMUNAL ROBBERY). FOR IT IS A STORYTELLING BOOK WRITTEN FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF A WHOLE BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN A PART OF THE SCRIPT-LEVEL WRITING AND DEVELOPMENT ON COMEDY. DRAMA. ACTION. HORROR. BIOPICS. TELEVISION. SUMMER TENTPOLES. INDIES. VARIETY SHOWS. SKETCH. AND IT'S NOT JUST FROM THE WRITER WHO WANTS / GETS WORK, BUT ALSO FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THOSE PEOPLE WHO ACTUALLY SAY "YES" TO SOMETHING GETTING MADE (SOMETHING NOT COVERED ENOUGH IN THE TYPICAL SCREENWRITING BOOK PERSPECTIVE). THE IDEAS HERE ARE ASSEMBLED FROM THE COLLECTIVE KNOWLEDGE OF WORKING WITH SOME OF THE MOST BRILLIANT STORY MINDS ON THE PLANET (AND THE BAD EXPERIENCES WITH SOME TERRIBLE MINDS TOO!), WHICH WERE THEN ALL BROUGHT TO A SEMI-COHERENT PLACE THROUGH DISCUSSION AND THE WORK PROCESS ITSELF, ONLY TO BE FINALLY FILTERED THROUGH THE INTERPRETATION OF THE WRITTEN TEXT BEFORE YOU. HULK SWEARS TO YOU, THIS BOOK IS A STORY OF COLLECTIVE DISCOVERY; A CHANCE TO REFLECT WHAT HULK HAS SEEN AND BEEN A PART OF. AND HONESTLY, SOMETIMES THE BEST STUFF COMES FROM THE MOST UNLIKELY PLACES ON THE SPECTRUM. THE THREE PEOPLE WHO TAUGHT HULK THE MOST ABOUT STORYTELLING WERE A DUDE WHO MOSTLY WROTE PLAYS IN DENMARK, A BIG-TIME NETWORK EXECUTIVE, AND A FAMOUS AWESOME DIRECTOR GUY WHO RARELY WROTE HIS OWN STUFF. PUT SIMPLY: THERE IS A RANGE OF EXPERIENCE HERE AND HULK HAS FOUND IT ALL TO BE OF IMMENSE VALUE.

AND IN THE END, HULK KNOWS ACCEPTING ALL OF THIS IS STILL JUST A LEAP OF FAITH. IT HAS TO COME FROM THE RELATIONSHIP WE'VE BUILT OVER THE LAST FEW YEARS AND THE ONES HOPEFULLY STILL LEFT TO BUILD. BUT HULK WOULD ARGUE THAT'S TRUE OF ALL THINGS. IT ALWAYS HAS TO COME FROM A PLACE OF TRUST. AND ULTIMATELY, THERE WILL ONLY BE THE VERACITY OF THE WORDS THEMSELVES. THE WAY THEY EITHER RING TRUE TO YOU AND FEED YOUR SOUL. OR THE WAYS THEY DON'T. SUCH IS THE NATURE OF ANY WRITING PHILOSOPHY. AND SUCH IS THE NATURE OF THIS BOOK.

8. "Okay fine... but really, why would you actually want to write a book like this?"

BECAUSE HULK FEELS BETTER WHEN HULK SHARES.

IT'S SILLY THING TO SAY, POSSIBLY EVEN TRITE. BUT THAT'S THE IMPETUS BEHIND THIS WHOLE HULK THING, REALLY. WRITING IS LONELY BY ITS VERY NATURE. AND HULK REMEMBERS THE DAYS TOO WELL WHEN HULK STARED AT HOLLYWOOD AS IF IT WAS THIS BIG NEBULOUS BEYOND OR AN IMPENETRABLE WALL. AND YEAH, SOMETIMES IT'S A CRAZY, HORRIBLE NO-GOOD PLACE WITH A SEUSSIAN SENSE OF LOGIC, BUT HULK SWEARS TO YOU THAT YOU CAN BUILD A REPUTATION ON MERIT, INTELLIGENCE AND KINDNESS. AND AS FLAWED AS HULK'S WHOLE APPROACH TO THESE "DISPATCHES FROM BEYOND THE WALL" MAY BE, IT'S NOTHING MORE THAN AN EARNEST ATTEMPT TO BUILD A BRIDGE FROM ONE SIDE TO THE OTHER. TO SOMEHOW MAKE THE IDEA OF STORY AND IMPLEMENTATION LESS UNKNOWABLE. TO HELP.

AND LIKE THE BEST OF SHARING, THE REAL INTENTION HERE IS NOT TO LAY DOWN THE LAW ON SCREENWRITING AND MIC-DROP THIS SHIT LIKE SOME OBVIOUS CHARLATAN. THE INTENT IS TO FOSTER A DIALOGUE. THAT'S WHY HULK PROMISES WE WILL HAVE POSTS HERE ON BADASS TO COMMENT AND TALK ABOUT THE CONTENT OF THIS BOOK AT LENGTH AND OVER TIME. STHAT'S THE NATURE OF ANY DISCIPLINE. IT'S ORGANIC. IN FLUX. CONSTANTLY MOVING. AND IT REQUIRES OUR CONSTANT PARTICIPATION AND CARE TO REALIZE IT.

AND THEN THE WILL TO DO IT ALL AGAIN.

* * *

SO THERE IT IS.

THE IRONY IS NOT LOST ON HULK THAT IN TRYING TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT A TANGENTIAL, EARNEST SCREENWRITING BOOK, HULK HAD TO WRITE A TANGENTIAL, EARNEST COLUMN ON WHY IT WAS EVEN WRITTEN IN THE FIRST PLACE, BUT HEY, THAT'S HOW HULKS DO. AND WHATEVER YOU TAKE AWAY FROM THIS, HULK CAN PROMISE THAT IT WILL AT LEAST BE THE MOST HONEST, LEAST REDUCTIVE, AND PROBABLY WEIRDEST SCREENWRITING BOOK THAT YOU WILL EVER READ. AND THAT'S AT LEAST GOTTA BE WORTH SOMETHING.

FIND YOUR HULK VERSION HERE (and your Bruce Banner version is included!)

SINCEREST THANKS AND MUCH LOVE TO ALL YO BUTTZ.

<3 HULK

--

Read Edgar Wright's intro below!

HULK MUSE. HULK PONDER. HULK BEAUTIFULLY ARTICULATE THE JOY OF CINEMA.

You won’t like him when he’s angry, but you will love him when he’s passionate.

Film Crit Hulk makes all other cinematic commentary look very puny indeed. Marvel as he pounds the CAPS LOCK button to properly expound his love for cinema. Imagine Pauline Kael caught in a gamma bomb blast and you will realise that in the desert of cinematic connoisseurs, Film Crit Hulk is the strongest one there is!

 In 1962, there once was a puny scientist with no love of the movie or regard for critical theory of cinematic arts. Then one fateful day, this non-cineaste was hit with massive amounts of radiation and transformed into a lumbering beast with superhuman strength, great invulnerability, but also with a newfound appreciation for classic storytelling, spatial awareness and genres of all form.

This writer of this book may only transform into the brutish green goliath in the dark of the movie theatre. His change into a passionate mass of movie loving can only be triggered by the release of adrenaline when intensely engaged or enraged by the images before him. The green goliath of the movie theatre possesses none of his human counterparts’ snobbiness, making him the ideal creature to appreciate the highs and lows of cinema. Hulk will feast on the studio popcorn and arthouse carrot cake with the same voracious appetite. Just do not talk during the feature presentation or dare check your iPhone at any point, for you may be swatted into the parking lot.

Film Crit Hulk bats away other movie buffs with their endless lists they think constitute as articles, and brings the essay back to roaring life. Why would you want to read other literature about cinema with its simple use of uppercase and lowercase characters? Film Crit Hulk knows that a true love of cinema CAN ONLY BE FULLY EXPRESSED WHEN USING THE CAPS LOCK BUTTON.

WHY READ SMALL-MINDED FILM CRITICISM WHEN YOU CAN STAND IN AWE OF HULK’S GARGANTUAN LOVE OF THE MOVIES.

I give this book two Hulk Hands up. WAY UP.

Edgar Wright, 2013

Film Crit Hulk's photo About the Author: FILM CRIT HULK WAS CREATED IN A CHAOTIC LAB EXPERIMENT INVOLVING GAMMA RADIATION, TELEPODS, AND THE GHOST OF PAULINE KAEL. NOW HULK HAVE DEEP AND ABIDING LOVE CINEMA.
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