As the guy here who just wrote 1,000 words inventorying the virtues of Jean Claude Van Damme's The Quest, you'd think I would be more behind Arnold Schwarzenegger's post political action film resurgence And I was until I witnessed his boring, embarrassing mugging in The Expendables 2. That film cured me of my excitement for more Schwarzenegger the same way it cured the world of Chuck Norris jokes.
The trailer for Kim Ji-Woon's The Last Stand left me cold. The Conan news already strikes me as a future missed opportunity. His thing with Stallone, The Tomb, has a cool jailbreak plot, but their proximity to The Expendables 2 sours me on that one as well.
But you never know. I could be wrong about all these. I sure want to be. Each has at least one cool element that could pull it through, the primary being Arnold's potential as an aged warrior type, something I'd really like to see well utilized.
Which brings us to Ten (aka Breacher, a name I like more if only because it sounds like a farcical mixture of Jack Reacher with some verb involving briefs). I look at this first released picture and cycle through about 100 easy jokes before settling down and actually appreciating how badass Arnold looks here. It's the kind of look that could easily turn the film into a joke, but I really want to believe he's as hard-assed as he appears in this photo. I like the hair. I like the tattoos. I like how much Arnold has been experimenting with his look in these new films. What I really want is for this to be a photo from a comedy where Schwarzenegger plays an estranged father to Henry Rollins, but Christmas only comes once a year.
Ten actually sounds pretty interesting, but every other aspect of it also seems disastrous. It's directed by End of Watch's David Ayer, which I've heard good things about but have yet to see. But
it's also written by Skip Woods, writer of X-Men Origins: Wolverine and owner of the professional name "Skip." So that's a wash. But the cast is good. Terrence Howard, Malin Akerman and LOST pals Josh Holloway and Harold Perrineau will hopefully overcome the fact that this film also stars Sam Worthington.
I really like the plot. Put simply, or maybe just put wrong altogether, Arnold and his crew are on a drug-busting task force. After getting away with stealing a bunch of drug dealer money, they find themselves getting assassinated one by one. See, in the context of being the oldest guy in a gang of dirty cops, you can see how Arnold's look here might really aid the film.
So we'll just have to wait and see how funny this photo (which Schwarzenegger released via his Twitter feed - is it wrong I find that adorable?) turns out when all is said and done. I'm optimistic, simply because I have to be.
Here's the picture in full:
About the Author: Evan Saathoff (known also by such aliases as Sam Strange and Tyler Perry) is News Editor of Badass Digest. He lived in Taiwan for two years and can order several food items in Chinese. Movies are fun, but he prefers Jesus Christ. Close personal friend to the Paranormal Activity Demon. Absurdly handsome. Weird wiener, though.
