What Do Browncoats Have In Common With Objectivists and Scientologists?

Here’s a hint: they ruin everything on the internet.

What Do Browncoats Have In Common With Objectivists and Scientologists?

A couple of weeks ago I whined about the io9 March Madness Scifi Showdown. Serenity, I groused, was beating objectively superior films like The Terminator and Back to the Future*. And in the end Serenity took it all, beating The Empire Strikes Back to become the official ‘best science fiction movie’ of that particular poll.

Congrats, Browncoats - with this act of ballot-box stuffing you’ve established yourself as one of the worst fanbases in the world. This isn’t about Serenity or Firefly, but rather about the people who feel the need to vote their pet franchise to the top of a poll for no reason except that it makes them feel better about themselves.

And as one of the worst fanbases in the world they’re in good company. As @JamesUrbaniak pointed out, Scientologists and Objectivists mounted a similar ballot box-stuffing campaign for the Modern Library 100 Best Novels poll. Check out this insane top 10:

1 ATLAS SHRUGGED
by Ayn Rand
2 THE FOUNTAINHEAD
by Ayn Rand
3 BATTLEFIELD EARTH
by L. Ron Hubbard
4 THE LORD OF THE RINGS
by J.R.R. Tolkien
5 TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD
by Harper Lee
6 1984
by George Orwell
7 ANTHEM
by Ayn Rand
8 WE THE LIVING
by Ayn Rand
9 MISSION EARTH
by L. Ron Hubbard
10 FEAR
by L. Ron Hubbard

Seven of those ten novels are Ayn Rand or L Ron Hubbard. One hundred percent of those seven novels are shit.

So congrats, Browncoats - now you and the Randians and the Scientologists can get together and plan your next script attack on an internet poll. Maybe if you put your favorite obsession at the top of the polls, other people will start to like you. Maybe that’s the solution to no longer being so alone. So, so alone.

Kudos, by the way, to io9, who responded with this list of ten scifi films that are better than Serenity AND The Empire Strikes Back.

* Back to the Future is one of the most structurally perfect films ever made. Watching that movie from a structural point of view is exhilarating. The set-ups and payoffs are immaculate, and never heavy handed.

Devin Faraci's photo About the Author: A ten year veteran of writing for the web, Devin has built a reputation as a loud, uncompromising and honest voice – sometimes to the chagrin of his readers, but usually to their delight.
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